A secret answer....

Not so long ago, I was at a social networking event. Over a glass of wine, I was in discussion about spiritually with one of the members present at the event. This is when I was asked a really simple question - 'What do you fear most?'

Thinking about it for 5 seconds - my answer to this really simple question was even simpler - 'An artist always fears his own art'. I didnt realise it instantly, however, while coming back home I wondered what made me say that sentence. It is probably one of the most generic answers ever given to an even generic question. What really got me thinking about the answer is the connection my 'fear' has with my spirituality. Simply put it - 'Is my worship for my creator an offshoot my fear?' Every day morning when I pray - is it only for the fact that I do not want the creator to take away my 'art'? And if this generic statement applies to me - it should apply to the creator himself - he should be worried about his own 'art' - of creating life forms. What if it is all gone one day ..........

But, for love, there is a always a fear of hate. 'Fear' by itself is not a bad thing at all - infact it is the fear of losing which results in bringing together. Unfortunately though, in this competitive life fear eventually becomes your definition and you start running towards your fear. Whether it be 'money', 'power' or 'control' - the fear of losing it makes you lose it eventually. Think about it - death is nothing a fear of living in a particular state. It was the fear of being alone that made the creator create this universe in the first place.

A strong sense of fearfulness creates divides - it draws boundaries among nations, it creates rules for its citizens, it creates dogmas for its society - one is not free anymore because you accept fear for the fear of being alone. Many great thinkers have tried changing it - no one has ever succeded! Last words of the most recent dictator were 'Dont Shoot' - fear eventually took him over as well....

I am sadened by the fact that I m not free anymore - that I have found happiness in my fear - that I am not strong enough to come out of it - that I fear death and have stopped enjoying life. I don't want to goals in my life - I don't want to think about 'if' 'but' 'why' 'when' - What is stopping me - nothing, why am I not doing it - I dont know, how long will this last - good question!

I have misunderstood courage - which is not roaring in the face of fear - its just saying softly to myself 'I'll try again tomorrow..............' (to break free)