The creator...

100's of trillions of P&C, each one in combination of the other - following a chain, self balancing, self evolving, self creating, self destroying - the fitest survives, change is a finality that shall always prevail. I never thought about it until recently - Why am I here? Where did I come from? Where would I go? - Am I representing a particular set of permutation or combination? Am I just a representation of spactial energy who's decided to be here for the time being before I start travelling again? Is this my only destination or I am scheduled to be elsewhere in some other time? Honestly, I didn't give much thought, until recently, when it stuck me that in reality there is no human, no space, no galaxy, no universe .... It is the "Creator's" conspiracy to keep you away from the truth...

I just wonder - how? How can the system be so perfect, flawless, self-fulfiling. In financial terms, this is fire-cracker stock - its needs no additional funding to grow. It is indeed a thought out game - the creator allows you to be here, he gives you resources to play with, a mind to explore them, creates the rules and modifies them on his own will. You are a pawn and a player at the same time - it is only the realization thats missing. Deep down you know you are not in control of things around you. Collectively as a race of humans (irrespective of the religion, caste, society) we fail to recognize the importance of being one in times of crisis. This is what the creator loves - he loves to manipulate us, he loves to see the friction (though he hates it the most), he loves to empower us, he loves to destroy us - or in his own word - he loves to maintain a "Balance".

So what is the truth? - Truth is that - there is no alien or there are as many aliens as you can see. A human is an alien to another, for the representation of energy within me is different from the energy within you. It's just that we have a common medium to communicate (language). One needs to know that communication is not restricted to language to explore - trust me, aliens are a reality - just that you and me havent figured out a way to communicate with them.

Truth is that - space (our solar system) is just an illusion - you only know what you are supposed to know and more importantly are capable of knowing. There is no definition of space - it is indifinitve in dimensions (forget about 3D's and 4D's). Truth also is that the universe (beyond our solar system) is also an illusion - a super "program" which has all the characteristics mentioned above. Truth is you will only experience what all you choose to experience and nothing more than it - we communicate with each other not just in the language we speak but also through the energy balance we dont know about. There is no luck, there is no destiny - only truth is the path of the unknown which every energy source follows - without knowing where it ends or if it ever ends. Definitive truth is you will die a million times and re-borne a million times - energy never dies - it just transforms itself.

And who is the creator? - I am still searching and will surely figure out by the time this journey ends...

A new friend...

It is really dark outside. Am on my my bed but can't sleep due to that niggling pain in my right jaw. Am thinking of running away; away from this pain, from the darkness that surrounds me, from all the expectations that bound me, from all the ethos that me a righteous individual, from the god that rules me!

Not able to see anything I close my eyes anyways. Not thinking how today went and what I need to do tomorrow. I am free of what has happened to me and what I would be doing further. I am away from both reality and fiction. I am away from that tiredness I was experiencing thus far.. all I know is that I am breathing. I forgive myself for all the mistakes made, I let go others who I believe have been bad to me. I am not angry anymore for being hurt by words or actions. I am now a wind that is just flowing irrespective of the shape or form. I am that light in that darkness that sees me content with myself irrespective of all failures. I am just happy being what I am - no more, no less than that. I take that step ahead to find the peace within :-)

From all the peace I am experiencing, there comes a thought - thought of making of a new friend. Someone who doesnt judge me, someone who listens to me unconditionally, someone who doesnt take the liberty of flirting with emotions, someone who is pure, as transperant as water, someone who tells me what I am, someone who lets me see through me, someone who doesnt hurt me through his action or inaction, some who doesnt make me sad. Some one who stays - irrespective of a million people walking by me. I've decided to be my best friend! ...

(Being judgemental about others is bad, being judgemental about oneself is a crime!) .. and this someone is not gonna be that :-)